we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I forget how to act sober
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
