If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
