She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we made out on top of his cat.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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