I wanna passion pit in your ass
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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