First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
