dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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