If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
