Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
