its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
