just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
