Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
