I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
