Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
