I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
