Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
