That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
