ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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