but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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