ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
