I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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