if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
