He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
