"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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