He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
