i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
