I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
