It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
