This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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