I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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