i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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