Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
