How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
