The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
