yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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