i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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