at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
