Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
