Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
How's work?
Spinning.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
