I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize