Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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