My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
