I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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