That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
