sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
