all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize