google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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