he thought i was a dude.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
