Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
