I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
