I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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