I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sext me about skeletons
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
