well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
