whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
