You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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