so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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