i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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