how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize