I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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