Well apparently he's into motor boating.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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