I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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