you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
