Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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